There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
