if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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