I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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