a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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