I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
