I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
