I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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