This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As shirtless as possible
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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