I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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