come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
