no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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