i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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