lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
