you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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