Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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