3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
