the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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