i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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