Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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