no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
