i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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