hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize