dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize