You just made me feel so damn special
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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