yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
