She is in my trunk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am available for nakedness
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
