You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
not ubering you a puppy
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