Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
