do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
