I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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