"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
