he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
