she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
