Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
