Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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