i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize