I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
