grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
