Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
