He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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