My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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