I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize