yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
