the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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