Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
