He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize