Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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