sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
