All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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