That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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