Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize