I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
