East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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