if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
