the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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