operation harelip BJ is a go
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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