I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
