Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
