In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
