Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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