Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
