no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
