Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
