Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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