you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm like, not good at living.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize