dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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